Enemies of Trust: Telling probable truths

This is one of a series of posts on enemies of trust at work – behaviors that can damage other peoples’ trust in you. Knowing the enemies you face can help you avoid them. This material is based on the trust building framework described in The Thin Book of Trust: An essential primer for building trust at work by Charles Feltman.

Telling “probable truths”. Saying something as if it is true when in fact you are not completely sure it is. You might think is probably true (so it’s low risk to say it is), or you would like to be true (“people will be more likely to give my project the go-ahead if they think this is true”), or you plan to make it true (“I’ll tell her I made that phone call, and I will do it this afternoon”). You may have done this once or twice and it’s turned out to be okay. However, if people find out what you say in these situations is not actually true in more than a couple of instances they will begin to question your honesty, competent, or both.

Avoid this enemy by recognizing when you would like to say something is true but you are not completely sure it is. This, of course, takes being unstintingly honest with yourself. When the idea does arise to tell a probable truth stop, take a breath, and check your personal integrity meter. Ask yourself: Do I really want to do this? What does it mean for my sense of integrity if I do? Then begin by saying something like: “I think this is true (or accurate, or correct) and I can’t say so for sure at this time. Here is the information I do have…”

Enemies of Trust: Unintentionally contradicting yourself

This is one of a series of posts on enemies of trust at work – behaviors that can damage other peoples’ trust in you. Knowing the enemies you face can help you avoid them. This material is based on the trust building framework described in The Thin Book of Trust: An essential primer for building trust at work by Charles Feltman.

Enemy: Unintentionally contradicting yourself. Saying something to one person that may appear to contradict what you’ve said to another. There are four common reasons for this: 1) you may not see any obvious contradiction between what you say to two different people, but they do; 2) you may not be able to say everything to one person that you can to another for some reason; 3) something changes between the time you talk to one person and the other; 4) your desire to please people by agreeing with them or telling them what they want to hear is stronger than your desire to be completely honest.

Avoid this enemy by as much as possible using the same words when you talk about something to different people, especially if it’s something they see as important. It also helps if you understand those people well enough to know they may have different interpretations of the same thing so you can try to avoid this happening.

If you can’t give as much information about something to Bob as you can to Joan for some reason, let them both know this is the case and why.

If something changes between the time you talk to Joan and when you talk to Bob so that Bob gets different information, go back to Joan and make sure she is updated.

Finally, if you know you have a tendency to change what you say or how you say it to fit what you think different people want to hear, first understand that you are not alone. Lots of people do this to dome degree or another. But also know that even though people may feel good about you in the moment because you’re telling them what they want to hear, eventually they will realize you are changing your story from one person to another and will begin to distrust that you are sincere. So stop, take a breath, and focus on the person’s need to hear the true story.

Does Diversity Power Performance – or Kill It?

Increasing workforce diversity has been an ongoing topic for several decades. In one recent example, Silicon Valley tech companies have come under fire for being overwhelmingly white and Asian in general, and white and male among their leadership ranks. But some would argue a more diverse leadership and workforce could throw a monkey wrench into the performance these companies have been known for. (This argument would be made only behind closed doors, of course.)

Yet, consciously or unconsciously many companies do resist increasing diversity, in part because they fear performance will take a hit if the mess with the formula. And they are right if they leave trust out of the equation. The point too often overlooked in this debate is that diversity without trust is a performance killer.

Increasing diversity of any kind – culture, race, gender, age, communication style, etc. – without paying explicit attention to trust and then expecting people to work well together is naïve at best. Unless the trust issues that come with diversity of any stripe are addressed it will almost surely become a serious threat to performance.

The need to build and maintain trusting relationships is fundamental to getting good work done in any situation. But people who see each other as “different from me” have to overcome the initial barrier of perceived difference on the way to building trust, something people who see each other as “like me” do not.

The Key Is Trust

Trust is what actually unlocks the enormous potential of a diverse workforce, translating itinto performance and success.

When people trust each other, ideas and information flow quickly and freely. Team members are creative, open and supportive. They coordinate action effectively vertically and horizontally. They consistently deliver results.

This is true for a completely homogeneous workforce. But when people with very different perspectives come together in an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect, performance increases even more.

Any effort to diversify the workplace has to include explicit support for trust building to succeed. In my experience, high diversity together with high trust can be a real powerhouse, even more innovative and productive than homogeneous companies with strong trust. But high diversity paired with low trust is a disaster.

Build a Culture of Trust for Diversity Driven Performance

Here are five building blocks necessary to create an company culture of trust that can exploit the full power of diversity.

1. An explicit commitment to build and sustain trust. This has to start with the company’s leadership, but it can’t stop there. Leaders have to be willing and able to build strong trust themselves and help those who work for them do so, as well.
2. A common language for talking about trust. Building and maintaining a culture of trust requires that people talk about it. To do so, people need a shared vocabulary of trust. A common language can come from any one of several good trust frameworks, including the work of Stephen M.R. Covey (The Speed of Trust), Charles Green (Trust Based Selling), or the framework I have successfully used with numerous clients and describe in The Thin Book of Trust. The important thing is to pick one that works for your company and use it.
3. Alignment on company values, mission and vision. When everyone clearly knows and believes in their company’s values, mission and vision there is a strong foundation on which to build trust and collaboration. People can focus is on how to execute trusting they are all working toward the same goal.
4. Top down, bottom up commitment to transparency. Transparent communication fosters trust. The absence of credible information breeds distrust. A commitment to transparency is a commitment to trust. It’s that simple.
5. Policies, procedures, and systems that support interpersonal and social trust. Often people will make a commitment to building trust but fail to examine their company’s infrastructure to determine how well it supports trust. Each policy, procedure and system a company has in place has the potential to support or undermine trust. This infrastructure, built right, can sustain both social trust and interpersonal trust. Social trust is part of the basic fabric of a society, group, or organization. When there is social trust people believe they are part of an organization that values and supports them, and will treat them fairly. Interpersonal trust is part of the fabric of the individual relationships we have with each other. In the workplace it supports connection, collaboration, transparency, sharing, and common endeavor.

Five Superpowers of Great Leaders

My 10 year old son recently asked me which five superpowers I would want to have. His list included things like telepathy, telekinesis and density changing (the ability to make one’s body less dense in order to pass through solid objects–I didn’t know that, did you?). Fun stuff to think about at that age.

But his question got me to thinking about what “superpowers” make for great leaders. What are the best leaders able to do that set them apart from the rest?

So here is my list of the top five leadership superpowers:

Generous Listening. The ability to suspend judgments and assumptions and listen to others with an open, generous mind. Most of us listen to others through mental filters made up of preconceived judgments about them and what they’re talking about. We aren’t consciously aware of these judgments, but if we could tune into them they would sound like, “I like his ideas” or “I don’t like his ideas”, “I agree with her” or “I disagree with her”, “I already know the right answer”, etc. People with this superpower are aware of the unconscious assessments they are prone to making and can suspend them long enough to really hear what others are saying. Of course they assess what they hear later, but first they open their minds and listen. These are the people who hear good ideas others miss. They hear what drives, motivates and engages people. They hear what they need to be highly effective leaders.

Perspective Taking. The ability to see people and situations from different points of view. Men and women with this superpower can see through others’ eyes. They don’t let themselves get locked into a single viewpoint. Instead they consciously step into, consider and explore multiple perspectives. This doesn’t mean people with this superpower don’t have their own point of view. In fact, they are very clear about where they stand. They also understand and respect how others see things, including the people they lead, their customers, their competitors, their allies, even their enemies. Using this ability extraordinary leaders identify solutions that engage and work for the broadest possible range of stakeholders.

Self-awareness. The ability to see and understand ourselves, including our personality traits, values, habits, emotions, and the psychological needs that drive our behaviors. People with this superpower know themselves well enough to avoid getting in their own way. They constantly seek to understand themselves better and are open to any feedback that helps them do so. Being highly self-aware, these people are more readily able to listen generously and take multiple perspectives. Leaders who are highly self-aware know and can use their strengths effectively. They also know their limitations and can work around them effectively.

Insatiable curiosity. The ability to set aside preconceived ideas about what we know, wedded to an intense desire to learn. Curiosity drives both learning and innovation. Leaders who are insatiably curious about the world around them readily acknowledge what they don’t know, but they don’t just stop there. When they recognize they don’t know something that is important to what they care about they plunge in and learn everything they can about it. Leaders with this superpower are constantly asking questions and listening generously to the answers they get. Insatiably curios leaders continue to learn, grow, and get better at what they do throughout their careers.

Absolute sincerity. This is the ability to be completely honest and act with full integrity. Leaders who have this ability are first and foremost honest with themselves. They don’t lie to or hide from themselves. They don’t excuse themselves when they make mistakes; nor do they put on false modesty when they do things well. Integrity means their words and actions are honest and are in full alignment. Others can believe what they say and count on what they do to line up with their talk.  Absolutely sincere leaders engender deep and lasting trust in those who follow them.

What are your top five?